It’s that thing of when you look like a Barbie and cook with an Easy Bake Oven but you’re actually an alcoholic.

It’s that thing of when you see a concert and there’s a Hans-solo and everyone goes NabooM on the Cleft Star.

It’s that thing of when you’re very classy drinking bum wine but then you get really sick.

?

No, it’s that thing of when dragons play pool.

Oh it’s like that thing of when you have a stye in your eye and so you wear a patch and when others ask why, you tell the, “Because I have stye-le.””

It’s that thing of when, on April Fool’s Day, you short sheet someone’s bed and fill it with peeps. Then they realize their bed is short sheeted.. but not that it is filled with melted peeps.

It’s that thing of when some guy with weird hair asks you how much a polar bear weighs. And then you respond with your best estimate (“prolly at least 900 lbs”). To which he awkwardly responds, “oh well that’s  definitely enough to break the ice!”

And then you stare at him blankly until he walks away.

Oh, I didn’t see you there, it’s that thing of when you want a maggot instead of a dog because everyone has dogs and you’re indie damn it.

It’s that thing of when your mom is decoratively religious and wants to put a screen from a confessional next to the toilet.

Oh, it’s just that thing when you’re on the bike at the gym and you run into people from high school and they tell you that you’ll never amount to anything.